dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
