What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
