So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
