I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
