Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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