my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
