If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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