I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
