Pappa wants mamma naked
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize