My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
