My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
