dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
