last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
