I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
