why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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