I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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