Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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