can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
