Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Say something about gay babies.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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