i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
