hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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