i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
