what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
