summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
