New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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