Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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