This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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