Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
