is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That accounts for only three of the penises
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
