Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
