The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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