The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
