Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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