this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
