If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
