Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
