Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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