he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
