You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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