why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
