I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
