I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I FOUND THE LEGS
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
