But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
is wine microwaveable?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
