I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
