Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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