it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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