you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
