coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
