Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize