Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
