i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
