I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
