I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
