i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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