ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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