i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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