I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
