Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So squirting runs in the family.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
