You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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