I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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