I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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