she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
